How We Embraced the Change in 2024
A Top 10 of stories from My Menopause Brain writers
The last day of the year is always a moment for reflection. The media is full of retrospectives of important news events or, more depressingly, homages to celebrities who have passed away during the last 12 months.
It’s a moment to look back on all the things that happened, the fleeting moments of joy or sadness. And, of course, the things that impressed or changed us.
The written word has always played a central role in my life. From the moment I learned to read, I could never get enough of stories. I’ve traveled the world through them. I’ve lived a thousand different lives through books. Every word I’ve read has changed me.
The stories submitted to My Menopause Brain by our fantastic writers are part of that never-ending change.
My Menopause Brain is active on Substack and Medium. Some of our writers are active on both platforms, but many are not.
I want to highlight some of the stories that impacted me the most. There isn’t enough space for all the great pieces I read, but I’ve curated a list of my top 10 stories on Medium, and I’m linking them below with paywall-free friends links, and I hope you’ll enjoy them.
A journey to yourself
A story I’ve read multiple times and keep coming back to is “A Traveler’s Guide to Menopause” by Sharmila Voorakkara. Her deeply touching story reminded me that it is never too late to leave a life that no longer suits you and move to a place that is more welcoming to your whole “you.”
You’ll be scared, and you will grieve the things you lost. But when you embrace the change, you can make a new beginning for yourself.
I am an explorer. I have arrived in the awful-beautiful, beautiful-awful terrain of a country I discover every day. I put one foot in front of the other.
Unexpected symptoms
Menopause comes with a lot of changes. Many of them are unwelcome, and many are unexpected. The symptoms most of us are familiar with are hot flashes and weight gain. Brain fog is one of the unexpected ones. You rarely hear about it until it hits you.
For me, this one was very scary. One of my closest friends suffers from early-onset dementia. For a while, I wondered if I was following her down that path. It was “only” menopause, but it took a while to figure that out.
In her story “Being Over 40 Means Constantly Asking Myself This Question,” Alice Cutler describes this phase beautifully. All these moments when you realize you’ve forgotten the most obvious things. That feeling of suddenly glitching and not knowing why. Is it perimenopause, or am I just going crazy?
The brain fog sneaks up on you. We can all relate to forgetting what we went into a room for, so when it happens, it doesn’t always translate to a perimenopause symptom. But when it happens all the time, there must be a change, right?
Samantha Jones touches on the same theme in her piece “I Was Going To Write an Article About Menopause — But I Forgot What I Was Gonna Write About.” I feel this so much. I have all these ideas I want to write about, but until I get to it, I’ve forgotten them, and my brain feels like this deep, empty void. So once again, I write nothing.
The other day, I had what I thought was a brilliant idea for an article on menopause. I was in the shower, where I had my most amazing thoughts and ideas. I could practically see the article and the title. By the time I got out of the shower, I couldn’t even remember the blog idea.
Unexpected symptoms of the change
Unexpected symptoms of the change we’re going through feature prominently in many of the pieces I read this year. And as scary as they are, I enjoy a humorous take on them. I love the writers who are good at lightening the mood when discussing serious topics.
There’s so much uncomfortable stuff happening at the same time it’s hard not to have beef with Mother Nature. Trinity Ellis, Author, summed up how scary this can feel in “Hot Flashes and Cold Truths: My Take on this “New Chapter” of My Life.” And still managed to sprinkle in gems of humor:
What’s new is that my insides are shriveling up and going to shit. That I’m changing into a decrepit chrysalis from a once beautiful butterfly. I am steadily headed more towards moth-hood and swiftly away from motherhood.
I recently read that I need to keep my vagina in tip-top shape lest it just close up. I think a man wrote that.
Talking about shriveling and drying up. These are topics that are often discussed only behind closed doors. But are a reality for many of us. Vaginal atrophy and dryness can make sexuality in menopause not only uncomfortable but outright impossible.
In “Welcome to Nether-Netherland, Where Everything Grows Old, Including Your Vagina,” Barbara Whitfield does an excellent job of tackling this sensitive topic.
Like too many women experiencing unexpected symptoms, she landed on her diagnosis by researching herself. Her story saves us from that hard journey.
By training and inclination, I’m a researcher. Research not only distracts my mind but furnishes me with the right language to speak calmly. I certainly didn’t want to confront the GP with little more than a crazed, ‘Apparently, my fanny looks like a snooty housekeeper from a gothic novel.’
Menopause comes with a lot of surprises.
Many you can embrace and move on, but some are harsher.
In “Menopause Delivered Me a Surprise,” Debra G. Harman reminded me of the importance of listening to your body. If you feel something is off, advocate for yourself. We all know that it is sometimes hard to get doctors to take us seriously.
Uterine cancer most often occurs when a woman is over the age of 45. The average age for women to get uterine cancer is sixty. I was sixty-one when I got my diagnosis of endometrial adenocarcinoma (the most common type of cancer). Within eight weeks, I knew a lot about the disease.
As hard as menopause can be, having another chronic disease can make the experience so much worse.
In “Why I Couldn’t Wait for Menopause,” Christine Schoenwald writes about her experience of having her doctors root around for a treatment of her endometriosis. One of these was having her go through a chemically induced menopause at 30. And then she had to do it all again naturally at 57.
I enjoyed menopause so much — I went through it twice. Well, that’s not entirely true. The first time I had menopause, I had what’s known as medical or chemical menopause.
Exercise improves my mood
One of the most important changes I embraced this year was going back to the gym. I had forgotten how much exercise improves my mood and underestimated the impact it would have on many of the mood disorders I was experiencing, thanks to the hormonal shifts.
Two pieces about the topic of exercise I particularly loved were Tracy Collins’ “If Perimenopause Didn’t Already Kick Your Butt, Pre-Diabetes Might,” and Ali Hall’s “How I’m Staying Fit and Strong During Perimenopause.”
If you’re on the ledge about going to the gym, reading Tracy’s reminder that (peri)menopause is a risk factor for diabetes might give you that last push you need.
You can imagine my surprise when I found out that peri-menopause and the associated metabolic changes are risk factors for insulin resistance and pre-diabetes.
If you never stopped training but suddenly feel you’re no longer as athletically capable as you used to be. Ali’s piece helps you understand how training and exercise have to be approached differently as a woman, especially when you go into perimenopause. Because well, we’re not men. Our bodies need different things.
I am a qualified ultra-running coach, and yet nowhere in my training was I taught to differentiate between the genders for training programmes. Nor was I taught to adapt training sessions for different life stages, such as working with a woman’s menstrual cycle or being cognisant of perimenopause and menopause.
The change feels liberating in so many ways
But the change is not all hot flashes, shriveling and mood disorders. There’s also a lot of positive change. And it feels liberating in so many ways. You stop caring so much about other people’s opinions and start focusing more on yourself and what you need.
Barbara Powell wrote about this so beautifully in her piece “My Triumphant Escape from Bikinis, Birth Control and Slut Shaming.” We hardly ever notice how much our actions are shaped by caring about other people’s opinions. Until we no longer care.
Society and The Larger World are of the strong opinion that they have some measure of custodial rights to fertile women’s bodies: organs, pregnancies, embryos, zygotes, fetuses and babies. This was clear now. It had always been there, lurking — creeping me out on some level — but I couldn’t have described this phenomenon until now, in its absence.
I completely agree. I also wrote about this in September; it is one of the best feelings to come with the change.
Men also have their burdens to bear?
Of course, we mustn’t forget that men also have their burdens to bear. And I don’t mean dealing with the erratic menopausal wrath of their loved ones. No, In “Is the Male Menopause Really a Thing?” CarolF reminds us that men can suffer from a form of menopause, too. No, it’s not like the male flu, and it’s not just the midlife crisis.
some men have physical problems that could be classified as menopausal/andropausal. They might not have the same severity or range of potential problems as women, but they can have some.
This semi-serious and entertaining piece is a good way to end my list of favorite 2024 reads.
Which stories did you like best? Do let me know and see you all in the new year.
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